I am stuck on
PRIDE. It has spiraled around me this week. So I reflect again, or more.Having been schooled a bit after my last blog, that as a white, straight, non-oppressed (even though I am a woman) person, it is not right for me to claim PRIDE in things, groups or ideas. That pride is my sin as an oppressor. And pride goes before a fall.
I do not start out to oppress or be “more righteous than” (except with respect to those drivers who never use turn signals, and smokers – then I am a little self-righteous.) I realize that I live a privileged life. It saddens me that the world is broken by haves and have-nots, is seen separated by skin color, and is judged by whom people love.
To me that brokenness has – yes – most often been created by
pride and its by-products. The sort of pride that allows folks to take pride in
what they are and the way they live as better, wiser, more knowledgeable, more
loved than others including the Creator.
The sort of pride that leads to a feeling of always being right, never
needing to apologize or ask for forgiveness for the built in belief that nothing
has been done wrong in the first place. This is the sin that the Bible speaks
against. This type of pride in self or clan is what leads to war, hate,
discrimination, judgment, and injustice. And it begs lamentation and sorrow.
I am not a bad person, but nor am I an “always right”
person. (Although my husband and mother may disagree I said that!) I try to live in harmony with all others. I
know there are things I am open about, and other areas I work to find a chink
in the armor of my closed-ness.
My concern in my recent dialogue and the rhetoric about PRIDE is that it
became an all or nothing context. Much like Red States vs. Blue States and
political discussions. I get that groups that have not been allowed to have a
voice should have the ability to share and show pride. I am all for that.
“You can't give
people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people
look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride” Charleszetta Waddles
For most
group-living species, the definition of social means knowing your place and
showing it at every opportunity. So it is with peacocks, lions and humans - oh my!Peacocks stand out with their array of feathers, but it is the female Peahen that chooses her mate based on the size, color, span of these outrageous feather displays.
These grand birds like peace and harmony and are a symbol of integrity and the beauty we can
achieve when we endeavor to show our true colors. In history, myth and lore,
the Peacock symbolizes: Nobility, Holiness, Guidance, Protection, Watchfulness,
Spirituality, Awakening, Immortality, Refinement and Incorruptibility.1
In rare cases some assembled group animals do not form dominance based hierarchies. Lions are an example of this. They do not bother to assign rank to its group’s citizens. While males distinctly dominate females, they do not establish class systems as other social animals do. All the lion males in a pride are lazy and let the females do the work. The females live in a “democratic sisterhood.”
"It's still
completely astonishing to me that we can find virtually no evidence of
dominance ranking in any pride," said Dr. Craig Packer, a field biologist
at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis and a leading authority on lion
behavior.
Dr. Packer suggests that lions are
simply too deadly and well-armed to not live by egalitarian rules. "A lion's got claws that can disembowel a
zebra, as well as those god-awful teeth, so an inferior could cripple a better
opponent," said Dr. Packer. "It's like a cold war, with mutually
assured destruction. It's better not to mess around with your opponent in the
first place." 2
Same could be said
about mutually destructive humans. Or at least we did in the 60’s and 70’s as
nations. But rather than merely avoiding common destruction, how about we build
toward mutual trust, love and acceptance?!William Blake
I guess I do not care that
“Pride” is considered a sin when I am proud of my husband and his loving-care,
his generosity and his compassion toward others. Proud of my siblings and
siblings-in-law for the way they raise smart, polite good-at-heart children. I
am proud of my parents and in-laws for the way they raised our generation – for
it was a team effort, sometimes succeeding and other times failing but always
continued trying. Parents worked together then. I am proud of my nieces and
nephews for the dignified, healthy, creative way they are facing the future of
this time and their lives. I am proud of
a number of organizations I have worked with or volunteered for in the way they
follow their mission and help others with passion, transparency and hope. I am
proud of friends that live fully as who they are and care for others. If pride
is bad, well I am proudly all in. Like a peacock, I will share these feathers.
Like a lion I will roar out my passion and delight for my family, friends
without exclusivity or thinking we are the best, most right or only voices in
this big diverse world.
I am humbled in knowing that these things I am proud of can
be said of many in this and each generation. There is a lot of work we have
ahead as people.
“Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and
important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and
personal satisfaction.”
Margaret Thatcher
1 www.proudasapeacock.org/
2 The New York Times “Lions Find Peace Without Rankings”
Natalie
Angier Published:
April 18, 1995
