ALL WORDS MATTER

I love words. Cross word puzzles. Code words. Books. Scripts. Poetry. Words inspire.

Words MATTER. This maxim has become more & more evident as I have gotten older and gotten married.  But never has it become more clear than in our current context. All Words matter. 

Most American school children were taught “Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  What a positive thought put into such a powerful lie.  Children, young people, and even adults today know that words can hurt, and leave lasting scars. The above pithy lie was put out with the good intention of trying to help people not take insults too personally. But in our day and age of social media and images and constant attention to the web world, we know how powerful words can be.

The current context in which I live, in the United States in 2018, I shockingly find that the current occupant of the White House is popular because of, and lives by, hate speech. The long list of those bullied or insulted by Trump and Trumpisms include: the disabled, Mexicans, women, the press, Muslims, President Obama, Senators Elizabeth Warren, Kirsten Gillibrand, and John McCain, transgendered peoples,  Palestinians, the NFL and players who take a stand, MLB, Kim Jong-Un, the United Nations, most G8 political leaders, the FBI, James Comey, Republicans, the cast of Hamilton, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Penn Jillette,  Common Core, the IRS, various Major Department stores, and the White house itself. By end of his first year, Trump has hurled over 350 insults out on Twitter, one of his chief platforms. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/01/28/upshot/donald-trump-twitter-insults.html/

 

The most surprising thing is, not that Trump built his presidency upon caustic rhetoric, attack, innuendo, blatant lies, name-calling and outright racist, xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, Islamophobic bullying, but that many American constituents parrot this hurtful, not merely politically correct, verbiage.

Words in our current context have become true sticks and stones that wound, hurt, and blatantly, knowingly pull wool over people’s eyes. Not just because we were built on being a decent country with morals, or the dubious rationale we were a Christian nation, but just because it is the right thing to do, we must oppose such hate speech. We must not let it become our new normal.

Recently two very important illustrations showed me clearly how words can matter in a positive manner. They inspire. Words lift up.  Words bring clarity. Words define. Words change lives. How they change lives!

A friend’s recent Facebook post depicted how even simple words matter deeply. My friend, Judy, was at a medical appointment, and a nurse came in and asked the usual, “How are you?”

My friend responded typically, "Fine, how are you?" answered by an equally typical "Good. I can't complain."

My friend rejoined with an earnest, "Well, if you did want to complain, I'd listen."  Judy, a good listener and people lover, knows that when people share their burdens they get some perspective and relief by finding a way to laugh about the situation.

The nurse, taken aback by my friend’s frankness, felt, her day was blessed. "Most people say, 'If you complain nobody listens anyway,' but here you are telling me you'd listen. Thanks."

Judy assured her new friend that it was her pleasure, especially since they both shared “the condition.“

“What condition?”

“The human one! People are pretty much people wherever you go," my friend said smiling.

After sharing more small talk, my friend began to leave and the nurse caught up to her saying: "I want you to know that you have blessed my day and changed my outlook. I left the house in a bad mood but now I'm uplifted. All because you said you'd listen to me."  My friend got a little teary because she knew how she had been uplifted too.

It is that simple. Words matter. What we say and how we say it does matter. You never know who is listening. Or what they are hearing on a daily basis. Will you speak the powerful truth and love to them? Will you compose a word of meaning and care? Will your words convey light and life?

If we take another adage at face value, “a picture is worth a thousand words”, than images too can have a potent punch. 

My counselor provided the witness of words effecting us deeply on a molecular level. She shared the book, “Messages from Water”, the work of Japanese scientist Dr. Masaru Emoto who showed how water was affected by words. In one set of experiments he played classical music and folksongs and heavy metal music through speakers at containers of water. He took samples of the water and froze it to form crystals. Then he compared the crystalline structure of the various samples. With the different musical pieces, the different water samples produced different shapes. The classical and folk music produced geometric shaped crystals with intricate patterns. The metal music saw the basic shape of the crystal break into pieces.

In another experiment, he took it further.  Dr. Emoto and over 300 volunteers stood on the shore of a badly polluted lake in Japan and spoke words of love, peace, and gratitude to the water.  The water crystals changed from cloudy broken images before the words to geometric beautiful crystals after the words. This experiment has been repeated successfully at other lakes around the world.

Above are some of the images from the experiment

Finally, Dr. Emoto conducted an experiment that affirms what counselors, pastors, psychologists have shared – Words and thoughts matter and impact a person’s well-being.  Dr. Emoto taped positive and negative words facing inward in water bottles. He then looked at the water under a microscope and discovered water molecules appeared different based on positive or negative words or phrases. Such as thank you, love/appreciation and love thyself produced a variety of beautiful geometric forms. On the other hand, phrases such as “you make me sick” or “you fool” produced crystals that were disconnected or chaotic. 

Words matter. If they affect water and we are made up of 70% water how are we affected on a molecular/ cellular level by the words spoken to us and around us.  Or the words we think about, and say to, ourselves.

The theologian in me recalls that in Genesis, God breathed into us at point of human creation. INSPIRED - breathed into -us with Gods spirit, and called by name, with love. We are good created for good things and goodness. But what happens as negativity affects our whole being on that molecular level? Corrupting and changing our spirits-souls-lives? What and who do we become when we are steeped in toxicity? Or rarely are moved by a positive voice.

At Christmas, Christians celebrated the Word of life, Jesus, who “moves into our neighborhood” so love would be personified. Jesus seeks to lift people up. To bring truth into each situation. To heal. To challenge for wholeness. He also bespeaks the possible power to affect change by the possession of positivity. Jesus didn't have the internet where words spread quickly - ad nauseum. We do. And the words we lodge there do not go away easily.

Actions also matter, because they back up words spoken. While it is not so black and white, we have a problem. We let words and images run amuck in our world and do some major damage to hearts and minds, young and old, male and female, all backgrounds and cultures. The question is do we love ourselves and others enough to change?  To make a difference? To carefully consider what we set out into the universe? How will we chose to use our words. Words matter. All words matter.

I have been writing about words in this blog trying to consider their power and potential from inside and out. I invite you to challenge my ability to see both the cutting edge and the positive power of words by sending me words that interest you most , for me to play with and posit upon. Suggest them in the comments and you may see my thoughts on them sometime  this year.

Also, feel free to share a word in the comments about how my musings inspire, or when they don't, call me on that too.  Perhaps the words we share can build each other up, and create the world as we hope it will be.

Of Peacocks and Lions and Pride, Oh My! Part 2

 I am stuck on PRIDE.    It has spiraled around me this week. So I reflect again, or more.

Having been schooled a bit after my last blog, that as a white, straight, non-oppressed (even though I am a woman) person, it is not right for me to claim PRIDE in things, groups or ideas. That pride is my sin as an oppressor. And pride goes before a fall.

I do not start out to oppress or be “more righteous than” (except with respect to those drivers who never use turn signals, and smokers – then I am a little self-righteous.)  I realize that I live a privileged life. It saddens me that the world is broken by haves and have-nots, is seen separated by skin color, and is judged by whom people love.

To me that brokenness has – yes – most often been created by pride and its by-products. The sort of pride that allows folks to take pride in what they are and the way they live as better, wiser, more knowledgeable, more loved than others including the Creator.  The sort of pride that leads to a feeling of always being right, never needing to apologize or ask for forgiveness for the built in belief that nothing has been done wrong in the first place. This is the sin that the Bible speaks against. This type of pride in self or clan is what leads to war, hate, discrimination, judgment, and injustice. And it begs lamentation and sorrow.

I am not a bad person, but nor am I an “always right” person. (Although my husband and mother may disagree I said that!)  I try to live in harmony with all others. I know there are things I am open about, and other areas I work to find a chink in the armor of my closed-ness.

My concern in my recent dialogue and the rhetoric about PRIDE is that it became an all or nothing context. Much like Red States vs. Blue States and political discussions. I get that groups that have not been allowed to have a voice should have the ability to share and show pride.  I am all for that.

“You can't give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride” Charleszetta Waddles

For most group-living species, the definition of social means knowing your place and showing it at every opportunity. So it is with peacocks, lions and humans - oh my!

 Peacocks stand out with their array of feathers, but it is the female Peahen that chooses her mate based on the size, color, span of these outrageous feather displays. 

These grand birds like peace and harmony and are a symbol of integrity and the beauty we can achieve when we endeavor to show our true colors. In history, myth and lore, the Peacock symbolizes: Nobility, Holiness, Guidance, Protection, Watchfulness, Spirituality, Awakening, Immortality, Refinement and Incorruptibility.¹
In rare cases some assembled group animals do not form dominance based hierarchies. Lions are an example of this. They do not bother to assign rank to its group’s citizens. While males distinctly dominate females, they do not establish class systems as other social animals do. All the lion males in a pride are lazy and let the females do the work. The females live in a “democratic sisterhood.”

"It's still completely astonishing to me that we can find virtually no evidence of dominance ranking in any pride," said Dr. Craig Packer, a field biologist at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis and a leading authority on lion behavior.

Dr. Packer suggests that lions are simply too deadly and well-armed to not live by egalitarian rules.  "A lion's got claws that can disembowel a zebra, as well as those god-awful teeth, so an inferior could cripple a better opponent," said Dr. Packer. "It's like a cold war, with mutually assured destruction. It's better not to mess around with your opponent in the first place." ²

Same could be said about mutually destructive humans. Or at least we did in the 60’s and 70’s as nations. But rather than merely avoiding common destruction, how about we build toward mutual trust, love and acceptance?!

“Pride is a personal commitment. It is an attitude which separates excellence from mediocrity.”
         William Blake

I guess I do not care that “Pride” is considered a sin when I am proud of my husband and his loving-care, his generosity and his compassion toward others. Proud of my siblings and siblings-in-law for the way they raise smart, polite good-at-heart children. I am proud of my parents and in-laws for the way they raised our generation – for it was a team effort, sometimes succeeding and other times failing but always continued trying. Parents worked together then. I am proud of my nieces and nephews for the dignified, healthy, creative way they are facing the future of this time and their lives.  I am proud of a number of organizations I have worked with or volunteered for in the way they follow their mission and help others with passion, transparency and hope. I am proud of friends that live fully as who they are and care for others. If pride is bad, well I am proudly all in. Like a peacock, I will share these feathers. Like a lion I will roar out my passion and delight for my family, friends without exclusivity or thinking we are the best, most right or only voices in this big diverse world.

I am humbled in knowing that these things I am proud of can be said of many in this and each generation. There is a lot of work we have ahead as people.

“Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.”  Margaret Thatcher

 

¹ www.proudasapeacock.org/

  ²  The New York Times  “Lions Find Peace Without Rankings”  Natalie Angier  Published: April 18, 1995

Of Peacocks and Lions

I was so excited to start this blog. It took some time to come up with an idea that was not too narrow or too wide. I took pride in my first few bloggy endeavors. Than as the old Proverb goes, “Pride always goes before a fall.”

The last few weeks, I have had nothing! Just shooting blanks. Writers block or too busy or something.  My sense of proud accomplishment has shriveled to a dry husk. It is frustrating.

If you see anything in yourself which may make you proud, look a little further, and you will find enough to make you humble.   WELLINS CALCOTT, Thoughts Moral and Divine

  I began pondering PRIDE and my sense of humility! I grew up with the notion that “pride” was a negative emotion or trait. As a grown-up (ish) person, I wonder and struggle with the notion of PRIDE.

This year, there is a lot of Pride going around. Over the past several weeks there have been a number of “Pride” Parades in and around Chicago– from the nationalistic Fourth of July parades and fireworks to the GLBTG Pride parade and this week’s Disability Pride Parade. All of that seems positive and promoting strength, value and a sense of community.

When I was in high school we had “Pride” week celebrating being a Sequoit (there really is no such thing) and showing school spirit. And then again recently, it shows when watching my dad become a Lion’s club governor with a focus on Lion’s pride. And feeling a sense of pride for my step-dad regaining strength and health after a scare.

Why is pride so bad?

It is a defined usually as a vice or as hubris. Saint Augustine defined “Pride” as “the love of one’s own excellence.” A very personal sin set opposed to humility and grace and seen as a disagreement with or inflation of the truth of who one is. An over-inflated sense of self-worth or accomplishment. Pride tends to blind us to our own faults. Being proud as the proverbial peacock is seen as bad. I understand this when we would compare ourselves to God, rank ourselves above others or put others down based on our personal accomplishment, or perceived success.

“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”  ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Originally, the word” pride” comes from an old Latin term for “useful.” In French and Old English it meant “brave” or “valiant.” On the plus side, pride is a sense of satisfaction of one’s choices and actions along with a feeling of belonging. It allows for a sense of healthy respect for one’s attachments and associations, but in comparison with a group or community. A public expression of a common belief that our individuality and strong social association are a natural part of human community, a celebration of our heritage and culture, and a validation of our experience.

“Pride helps us; and pride is not a bad thing when it only urges us to hide our own hurts—not to hurt others.”  ― George Eliot, Middlemarch: A Study of Provincial Life

Pride in a group or association seems to take on a different and positive connotation. I think of my parents who take exceptional pride in their grandchildren. I think of a group of lions who haughtily stroll the jungle as “King of the beasts.” Yet, they live together. As a group (pride), not as individuals.  Perhaps that is the differentiator!?

Yet the Bible takes on national pride, and speaks of God’s wrath against those who exalt themselves – as individuals or nations.

I am proud of friends who take a stand and come out so they can be themselves.  I am sometimes proud to be an American with our ideals of democracy and building a republic. (Except when it goes overboard and becomes hubris, as of recent history.) There is pride watching those who struggle with life overcome their adversities. But can I not be proud that I have worked hard at an endeavor and found some value in my growth? Can I not value doing a good job serving others?

Of Peacocks or Lions?  Not sure I understand or comprehend.

Watch for Part 2 on "Of Peacocks and Lions" soon.

Called Up with Direction

 

Tonight is a big night for my husband. Not because he is married to me. Or because it is June 6^th and a remembrance of D-day. It is the Major League Baseball Draft. Ok! He is TiVo-ing it and watching it. He has been calculating various players for his favorite team (The Chicago Cubs, of course). For a huge baseball fan like my hubby, I guess it is interesting. All good until you consider that the MLB draft is the “least watched draft” in sports. It is not as” sexy” as football or basketball, even hockey for that matter. It will not have an immediate impact on anyone’s favorite team in 6 months time. So what is the big deal? 

As someone who was usually picked in the last groupings for most sporting activities, it is not on my interest list. But here are young men still in high or college (of course, no young woman would be offered the ridiculous salaries possibilities for sports that men get. But that is another blog topic) who have great potential in the baseball world in hitting, pitching or fielding and could command high salaries for entertaining us with their athletic prowess . Good for them, they are not left standing loving a sport that they cannot play like most of us geeks and loveable losers.  

 

 “We’d pick out the captains and we’d chose up the teams,

                                          It was always a measure of my self-esteem.
                  Cause the fastest, the strongest played shortstop and first,
                                        The last ones picked were always worst”.  (“Right Field” Peter, Paul and Mary) 

Get yourself a draft of beer or other beverage and consider this:

God does not pick anyone for last. Or conscript anyone to service. Everyone has their own gift and special talent and place in the Kingdom. And the right opportunity to serve. Do you know what your specialty is? Not yet? Ok. You are in the making – a rough copy or preliminary construction growing into what makes you – You. 

It took me a long time to realize my special gifts and even feel good about my talents. I love sports and picture myself a great player. But alas, I am a mediocre athlete at best. Give me the brain challenges though and I will be picked near the top. (Except by my friend Rich, whom I talked out of a right answer in a Biblical Trivia Challenge. Still sorry Rich!) I always rule at spectator Jeopardy. 

I don’t talk about this to urge you to find and assert your bragging rights. I simply call attention to each of us being called at the right time in the right place for the right reasons with the right gift. The Spirit is blowing where it will to create partnerships, teams and companies to build the corporate body for good.  You and I are constructed, and reconstructed, to find the flow of the Spirit and pull our load. 

 

We spend a good bit of our lives blown by the wind, and wondering why we’re not getting anywhere. Perhaps we like thinking we are in control and deciding which way, and how, to go. Walking against a strong wind slows you down.  Walking or running with the wind at your back makes you move forward faster. NASCAR fans used to say that the reason Dale Earnhardt Sr. won so many races was because he could see the draft: he could see the airflow coming off our other cars, and he would line up with that draft to aerodynamically propel him forward. What if we understood our lives in a different way: we have a special gift and power and the opportunity to fly by the current of the Holy Spirit and be propelled into a celebratory future!?

 

 Life in Christ is like that. The Holy Spirit is always blowing through our lives and communities. And our main job is to see the draft, to lick our finger and see where the wind’s blowing, what God is already up to, and then to join in that – to make sure that wind of the Spirit is at our back, that we are moving in God’s direction.

 We are never picked last. Or left as only a work in progress. God puts us in always on time, every time. We are caught up by a Spirit of love, for love and life changing purpose.

 

 

My purpose is to create and connect words and everyday living to our Spiritual nature and true home. Please challenge me with a reflection word or countering my perceptions. I would love to hear from, and be challenged by, you.  This is your page, as much as mine.

Fruit in a World of Doubt

"So today I ate a mango like a savage. I bet if anyone saw me they would have thought there was a zombie in disguise living across the street"  - from the web

 “The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control.”  (Galatians 5: 22-23).

In a few weeks, I’ll return to serve in parish ministry. There are amazing wondrous things about parish ministry and serving God’s people.  It is sweet and ripe with compassion and love. It often flourishes with people sharing tender care for each other, and seeking service first. Genuine generosity blossoms from many hearts with unmatched fragrant grace.

And occasionally there is that pit. People are people and ministry can be tough and hard-hearted. Ministers pray for their people to be tender-hearted, but sometimes the pastor herself has a heart of stone. Human frailty deceives wearing the skin of beauty. It is peeled back to reveal a less than appealing core. No fruit bearing there.

“Don’t be [hardhearted] as your ancestors were. Clasp God’s outstretched hand. Come to his Temple of holy worship, consecrated for all time. Serve God, your God.” 2 Chronicles 30:8

Let Us Talents and Tongues Employ V3

                           Jesus calls us in, sends us out             

                         bearing fruit in a world of doubt,                      

                           gives us love to tell, bread to share:                

                        God (Immanuel) ev'rywhere!         

                                                                  Jesus lives again, earth can breathe again

                                                                  pass the word around; loaves abound.

                                                                  Jesus lives again, earth can breathe again

                                                                  pass the Word around; loaves abound!

                  

   One of the most perfect fruit is a mango. Over 1000 varieties worldwide, it is a sensuous and tempting fruit, with a dizzying fruity, piney perfume . And a taste that is a temptation hard to resist.  It has even been pondered, that given its semi-tropical location, the Garden of Eden’s tempting fruit was really a mango.

 

Incidentally, in Eastern religions, the mango is a symbol of love. The mango leaves and blossoms are used in the worship of Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge, arts (music of love), creativity, eloquence and power. The symbol of the mango is in many eastern arts – a paisley shape. Mangos are mostly self-perpetuating. Only 15% are male and the rest both.

 

For our wedding shower, my husband and I got a mango slicer. One of the best inventions since blogs. I love the sweet fruity taste and the piney smell of a ripe mango. They are amazing and heavenly. Prior to this great gift, I would drool over mango from afar. They were too tough to figure out how to slice on my own to remove that huge stone pit, and too costly to buy the sliced up ones with any regularity from the store.

 

 Now it is regularly Mango Mondays at our house, and other days to boot. On those days, I actually sing a little song as I am preparing the mango for our enjoyment. First, I use the fantastic slicer to remove the big pit, then I lovingly cultivate the fruit.  (Oh, actually something to thank George Bush for -  The nuclear deal Bush signed with India allowed for the US to import mangoes and develop a love for them that showed imports triple in ten years! Mangos were imported more scarcely prior.)

 

The dark side of this fruit. Incredibly, mangos are related to poison ivy and you can get a rash from their skin and sap resin. The mango pits{Endocarp – a gross word in itself] are large, and sometimes the fruit does not yield that much.

Contemplating mangos, that is how I sometimes feel.  A hopeful depiction of beauty and goodness with this large pit of anger and madness inside. The love and compassion one needs for God’s service gives way to reveal a hardhearted core. Maybe there is only a zombie in disguise.

The hardness I fear  that can be in my heart feels like it leaves little room for the extraordinary love and kindness required in ministry.  God, send me a mango-type slicer to prune away the hardness in my heart so as to get to the tender, juicy loving-kindness of servant mango magic ministry.

One way can be learned by starting to see the magic in everything. Sometimes it seems to be hiding but it is always there. The more we can see the magic in one thing, a tiny flower, a mango, someone we love, then the more we are able to see the magic in everything and in everyone. Where does the mango stop and the sky begin? 

 Joshua Kadison, musician and author of “17 Ways To Eat A Mango: A Discovered Journal of Life on an Island of Miracles”, Hyperion, 1999

Thank you God for answered prayer and helping me to see more magic and the Spirit of a Mango Ministry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons from Dance lessons

[A reader submitted Word for this week’s reflection- DANCE]

“To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking” ― Agnes De Mille

At our 2010 wedding, only a few lessons.

My husband and I are taking dance lessons. He gave them to me as a gift, and we have kept it up as an opportunity to learn something new together. Talk about challenge.  It is an awesome challenge as we learn to Rumba, Foxtrot, Swing and Hustle.

First, I did not know my body could move some of the ways these dances require. Second, it is really about partnership. We joke about me letting my husband lead. He does, and I let him. He hopes it will rub off through the rest of our life. Three, both of us need to remember not to spend time beating oneself up, just stay flexible and in the fun.

“Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire” ― Robert Frost (Yes, the poet Robert Frost)

Working together we keep each other going, learning and growing. (I wish I could say that it has shrunk us too, but that is not the case yet.) And still earl-ish in our life together, it helps build our bodily connection and chemistry (in public).

Besides a great date night connection and immense fun, dancing is teaching us about each other for our marriage. Ballroom dance is an art form of the twosome. We learn a true give and take. It is about building trust, teamwork and chemistry.  And it has a lot of fun twists and turns too.

                “Dance is the hidden language of the soul.”  Martha Graham

Another lesson I have taken from dance is that it is much like faith – a commitment to trust, giving and receiving, leading and following. You must be present and breathe. And you do feel alive. The Robert Frost quote aside, I do not fathom why dance has such a bad stigma in the world of faith. (Think “Footloose”)  In the Bible King David dances.  Nature dances and claps its hands in the Psalms. When filled with the Spirit, how can we keep from singing, or dancing?!

“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
    You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with

joy,
My soul must sing and not be silent, O God, and I will praise you forever!” Psalm 30:11-12 (NIV)

 We don’t look down on dancing in our church, but we do overlook it. Although occasionally you can catch my pastor moving to the music, sometimes off beat. Dancing is an outward expression of our inward experience. People filled with faith exude joy and thankfulness. These are people magnify the Spirit of life! We dance because we are loved. We work in trust and partnership because we are forgiven. We flow together with graceful movements. My prayer is that the Church never stifles this sense of God’s Spirit and Song. I pray we are swayed by the Spirit and continue the sacred celebration .

“You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive.”  ― Merce Cunningham

 “Dancing is what you do when you arrive at where God wants you to be.”  Leonard Sweet

(Len is one of my favorite theologians. His statement here feels so true for my life today.)

KEEP DANCING!  Don't stop, even if the music does. Let the joy inside take over.