Of Peacocks and Lions and Pride, Oh My! Part 2

 I am stuck on PRIDE.    It has spiraled around me this week. So I reflect again, or more.

Having been schooled a bit after my last blog, that as a white, straight, non-oppressed (even though I am a woman) person, it is not right for me to claim PRIDE in things, groups or ideas. That pride is my sin as an oppressor. And pride goes before a fall.

I do not start out to oppress or be “more righteous than” (except with respect to those drivers who never use turn signals, and smokers – then I am a little self-righteous.)  I realize that I live a privileged life. It saddens me that the world is broken by haves and have-nots, is seen separated by skin color, and is judged by whom people love.

To me that brokenness has – yes – most often been created by pride and its by-products. The sort of pride that allows folks to take pride in what they are and the way they live as better, wiser, more knowledgeable, more loved than others including the Creator.  The sort of pride that leads to a feeling of always being right, never needing to apologize or ask for forgiveness for the built in belief that nothing has been done wrong in the first place. This is the sin that the Bible speaks against. This type of pride in self or clan is what leads to war, hate, discrimination, judgment, and injustice. And it begs lamentation and sorrow.

I am not a bad person, but nor am I an “always right” person. (Although my husband and mother may disagree I said that!)  I try to live in harmony with all others. I know there are things I am open about, and other areas I work to find a chink in the armor of my closed-ness.

My concern in my recent dialogue and the rhetoric about PRIDE is that it became an all or nothing context. Much like Red States vs. Blue States and political discussions. I get that groups that have not been allowed to have a voice should have the ability to share and show pride.  I am all for that.

“You can't give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride” Charleszetta Waddles

For most group-living species, the definition of social means knowing your place and showing it at every opportunity. So it is with peacocks, lions and humans - oh my!

 Peacocks stand out with their array of feathers, but it is the female Peahen that chooses her mate based on the size, color, span of these outrageous feather displays. 

These grand birds like peace and harmony and are a symbol of integrity and the beauty we can achieve when we endeavor to show our true colors. In history, myth and lore, the Peacock symbolizes: Nobility, Holiness, Guidance, Protection, Watchfulness, Spirituality, Awakening, Immortality, Refinement and Incorruptibility.¹
In rare cases some assembled group animals do not form dominance based hierarchies. Lions are an example of this. They do not bother to assign rank to its group’s citizens. While males distinctly dominate females, they do not establish class systems as other social animals do. All the lion males in a pride are lazy and let the females do the work. The females live in a “democratic sisterhood.”

"It's still completely astonishing to me that we can find virtually no evidence of dominance ranking in any pride," said Dr. Craig Packer, a field biologist at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis and a leading authority on lion behavior.

Dr. Packer suggests that lions are simply too deadly and well-armed to not live by egalitarian rules.  "A lion's got claws that can disembowel a zebra, as well as those god-awful teeth, so an inferior could cripple a better opponent," said Dr. Packer. "It's like a cold war, with mutually assured destruction. It's better not to mess around with your opponent in the first place." ²

Same could be said about mutually destructive humans. Or at least we did in the 60’s and 70’s as nations. But rather than merely avoiding common destruction, how about we build toward mutual trust, love and acceptance?!

“Pride is a personal commitment. It is an attitude which separates excellence from mediocrity.”
         William Blake

I guess I do not care that “Pride” is considered a sin when I am proud of my husband and his loving-care, his generosity and his compassion toward others. Proud of my siblings and siblings-in-law for the way they raise smart, polite good-at-heart children. I am proud of my parents and in-laws for the way they raised our generation – for it was a team effort, sometimes succeeding and other times failing but always continued trying. Parents worked together then. I am proud of my nieces and nephews for the dignified, healthy, creative way they are facing the future of this time and their lives.  I am proud of a number of organizations I have worked with or volunteered for in the way they follow their mission and help others with passion, transparency and hope. I am proud of friends that live fully as who they are and care for others. If pride is bad, well I am proudly all in. Like a peacock, I will share these feathers. Like a lion I will roar out my passion and delight for my family, friends without exclusivity or thinking we are the best, most right or only voices in this big diverse world.

I am humbled in knowing that these things I am proud of can be said of many in this and each generation. There is a lot of work we have ahead as people.

“Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.”  Margaret Thatcher

 

¹ www.proudasapeacock.org/

  ²  The New York Times  “Lions Find Peace Without Rankings”  Natalie Angier  Published: April 18, 1995

Of Peacocks and Lions

I was so excited to start this blog. It took some time to come up with an idea that was not too narrow or too wide. I took pride in my first few bloggy endeavors. Than as the old Proverb goes, “Pride always goes before a fall.”

The last few weeks, I have had nothing! Just shooting blanks. Writers block or too busy or something.  My sense of proud accomplishment has shriveled to a dry husk. It is frustrating.

If you see anything in yourself which may make you proud, look a little further, and you will find enough to make you humble.   WELLINS CALCOTT, Thoughts Moral and Divine

  I began pondering PRIDE and my sense of humility! I grew up with the notion that “pride” was a negative emotion or trait. As a grown-up (ish) person, I wonder and struggle with the notion of PRIDE.

This year, there is a lot of Pride going around. Over the past several weeks there have been a number of “Pride” Parades in and around Chicago– from the nationalistic Fourth of July parades and fireworks to the GLBTG Pride parade and this week’s Disability Pride Parade. All of that seems positive and promoting strength, value and a sense of community.

When I was in high school we had “Pride” week celebrating being a Sequoit (there really is no such thing) and showing school spirit. And then again recently, it shows when watching my dad become a Lion’s club governor with a focus on Lion’s pride. And feeling a sense of pride for my step-dad regaining strength and health after a scare.

Why is pride so bad?

It is a defined usually as a vice or as hubris. Saint Augustine defined “Pride” as “the love of one’s own excellence.” A very personal sin set opposed to humility and grace and seen as a disagreement with or inflation of the truth of who one is. An over-inflated sense of self-worth or accomplishment. Pride tends to blind us to our own faults. Being proud as the proverbial peacock is seen as bad. I understand this when we would compare ourselves to God, rank ourselves above others or put others down based on our personal accomplishment, or perceived success.

“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”  ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Originally, the word” pride” comes from an old Latin term for “useful.” In French and Old English it meant “brave” or “valiant.” On the plus side, pride is a sense of satisfaction of one’s choices and actions along with a feeling of belonging. It allows for a sense of healthy respect for one’s attachments and associations, but in comparison with a group or community. A public expression of a common belief that our individuality and strong social association are a natural part of human community, a celebration of our heritage and culture, and a validation of our experience.

“Pride helps us; and pride is not a bad thing when it only urges us to hide our own hurts—not to hurt others.”  ― George Eliot, Middlemarch: A Study of Provincial Life

Pride in a group or association seems to take on a different and positive connotation. I think of my parents who take exceptional pride in their grandchildren. I think of a group of lions who haughtily stroll the jungle as “King of the beasts.” Yet, they live together. As a group (pride), not as individuals.  Perhaps that is the differentiator!?

Yet the Bible takes on national pride, and speaks of God’s wrath against those who exalt themselves – as individuals or nations.

I am proud of friends who take a stand and come out so they can be themselves.  I am sometimes proud to be an American with our ideals of democracy and building a republic. (Except when it goes overboard and becomes hubris, as of recent history.) There is pride watching those who struggle with life overcome their adversities. But can I not be proud that I have worked hard at an endeavor and found some value in my growth? Can I not value doing a good job serving others?

Of Peacocks or Lions?  Not sure I understand or comprehend.

Watch for Part 2 on "Of Peacocks and Lions" soon.